Respect... My Ar*e!

It's ME.... KC!

My mum's can't get to da puter cos dey is still reeling from da shock of 'Gorgeous George Galloway' winning our by election and being our new MP..... bah!
For those of you who duz not know da Gorgeous George, he is most famous for being a cat on celebrity Big Brother... and for being kicked out of da Labour party!

Well George, I duz not think dat you is gorgeous, you duz not have enough fur to be gorgeous.... and I hope dat dey was not Whiskas Temptations you is eating out of Ms Lenska's hands... dey is for proper cats!!!

And dis is not how you duz be a cat!

Dis is how you duz be a cat... and gorgeous!

Spot da difference Mr MP?

See, I is cross now!

But what is done is done I says to mum's and we should try to put this breath of fresh air new Mr MP through his paces and see what he can do for our constituancy that he knows bugger all about (allegedly)!

So we is hoping to write to Mr Galloway and suggest lots of improvements to our fair city like:

• poo bins.... mum says dat we are badly lacking in bins for Deccy's doings... him doing da big doings!
• more speed bumps... (don't you invade my blag Other Mum just to keep yourself in work!)
• Free tuna fiss for all black cats called KC!
• Early morning sweeping ups of da discarded take away cartons... dis indiscriminate snacking is not good for Deccy's EBI... and wind!
• Enforcement of well kept flower beds in da neighbours gardens to make my outdoor toileting more pleasant!
• An adequate supply of petrol at ALL TIMES! Mum hardly has any at all and the garages are dry Mr Cameron you stoopid sod!

Mum has lifted her head wearily from da pillow and asked if any of you duz have any more suggestions for what we can write to our stoopid nice new Member of Parliament about cos she duz be too dazed to think at da moment!

Deccy's Excellent Blog Award - the nominations for March!

This month I am awarding my lovely purple sparkly toilet seat to the best Wordless Wednesday post.

This is the short list

Fabulous Flo

Tales & Tails

Two Doodles & A Dane

Dip Dip and The Bridge

Bringing Up Bella

Hiking Hounds

Hope you all enjoy having a look at them. The winner will be announced next week. Can you cope with all the excitement?!

The award for April is entitled 

It's a Mystery!

Hands up anyone who immediately thought "Toyah Wilcox"? That's given away your age and nationality. Ha!

Quite simply I will give the award to post I liked best during the month. It will be for whatever reasons takes my fancy, so as you don't know what they are, you can't nominate this month!

A 4 shamrock mini break awaits you!

As many of you will know, we had a Budget here in the UK last week. Pretty much, this means everything now costs more than it did before. However, at this particular Budget, much has been made of the so called "Ganny Stealth Tax" Ganny?!! This could be serious.... Put simply, the Government plans to get rid of age related tax allowances, meaning that over 4 million retirees will be worse off. Conversely Britain's highest earners have been rewarded with 5p in the pound reduction in their tax liability. That's considerably better than a poke in the eye, when you earn in excess of 150k to start with.

 So well done  Dave" We're all in this together, except my father-in-law is land owning millionaire aristocrat, so I'm not in it quite as much as you" Cameron and George "I'm alright Jack; the family firm is worth millions" Osbourne. Hmmmm... this is starting to sound like a political rant, but I am a dog. I am not political and I don't really care!

Still, If Ganny may be worse off, I must try and help. Apart from anything else she needs to be able to afford Pigs Ears and Gravy Bones and to send me a Fiver for my birthday....

Therefore today, my friends, I am here to highlight, publicise and advertise, England's newest luxury dog accommodation. Welcome to............

"Ganny's"!!

Upon arrival, you will find complimentary Schmackos in your room.

All beds have been tested for comfort...

Singles & Doubles are available....

Or if you prefer, bring your own!

Tea and biscuits are served in bed each morning. Hand feeding by Ganny is available if you can look as pathetic as this.

Meals can be served al fresco during the summer months

....Then why not enjoy as postprandial stroll in the garden?

There's a bench if you get tired....

Places to hide; bet you can't see me can you?!

.......and great bathroom facilities!

Should you require a longer walk, there is a Common directly opposite.

A comfortable living room with complimentary duvet is available for your midday snooze.

I nearly always manage to blag a new teddy, so there's every chance you can do it too!

Complimentary meals and snacks are frequently available, due to Ganny's very small appetite.

Usually these will come from Marks & Spencer, so quality is always assured...

So everyone! Come and spend your dollars and pounds with us this year! You can book on my blog, but hurry to avoid disappointment! 

I haven't actually mentioned this to Ganny yet, but she's bound to think it's a good idea.....isn't she......?

In the meantime, I'll just top up my tan........

Nearly Wordless Wednesday 28/3

You're not very fast for a squirrel are you....?

Nearly Wordless Wednesday 21/3

Following recent events, Declan couldn't help but think that someone was keeping their eyes on him........

I'm off to see Ganny for a few days now, so I'll catch you all next week! 

Deccy x

Give me your best Wordless Wednesday in March!

"I can't imagine how that could have happened Mum....."

 I can't help feeling that something is missing........

                      Yep. Definitely not quite right........

Ah..... I'm starting to develop that slightly uneasy feeling.. I'll just divert Mum's attention to the other side of the car.

B*g*er! That wasn't a very good move.

Well don't look at me Mum. I've no idea how two of your seatbelts were chewed snapped. Or have you considered that a family of mice might be living under the driver's seat? It is an awfully long time since you cleaned the inside.....Or perhaps it was KC. She is evil and I've heard seatbelts make very good scratching posts........

Doh! Caught in the act....

You better think about asking Ganny to raise your pocket money mate, or get yourself a paper round. This is seriously going to cost you - Mum.

So Mum has dragged me off to the local Ford dealership where the following conversation could be heard..

Mum: I'd like a price on two rear seat belt kits for a Mondeo Estate inc fitting please

Salesman: That's not a request we get very often. Have you got a family of mice in your car?..haha!

Mum: (somewhat icily) No. You see the furry big git in the corner? I've got him.

Salesman: Right madam. Well we have them in stock. That'll be £125.00 each, roughly 3 hours labour, so about £430.00 in total. That's not too bad is it.?

(Ooooh if looks could have killed.....)

Mum: Well the Greyhound is paying, so can you sort the invoice out with him? Goodbye....

Mum says it's a very good job that we have one of these growing at the bottom of our garden...

...otherwise we'd be living on baked beans for the next month.

" Mum what are we having dinner..."

There you go Declan. Enjoy........

Give me your best Wordless Wednesday in March!

I just want to remind everyone that you can nominate yourself or your friends for Deccy's Excellent Blog Award aka. The Purple Sparkly Toilet Seat! I do my best to get around as many blogs as I can, but I'm bound to miss some and there will be loads out there that I don't even know about! So, if you see someone with a post you think should be recognised, don't assume I've seen it - let me know yourself! And there's nothing wrong with a bit of self promotion either! If you have a post that you're proud of, send me the details. All nominations can be emailed to me at: declansdogsblog@gmail.com  (Nearly) Wordless Wednesday posts from 7th, 14th, 21st and 28th March 2012 will be considered.  

Deccy x

World Cancer Day?

                                                                                              Zoolatry

In Memory of Edward Collis Richardson

20th February 1900 - 28th May 1974

My Human Great Grandad .

A man who would have loved me as much as my Mum does and the single greatest influence in her young life.

We are thinking of ALL of our friends, both those that are ill and their loved ones, who have suffered due to this terrible disease. 

Deccy & His Mums

We always thought World Cancer Day was February 4th, but hey, any day seems like a good one to publicise the work being done to work towards a cancer free world!

Deccy's St. Patrick's Day Picnic......

Begorra! If it’s not 17^th March and time to celebrate everything that’s green and shamrock shaped.... ah that’ll be just shamrocks then. 

Ooooh there’s nothing quite like getting into the Irish spirit  (Mum recommends Jamesons) especially for someone like your man here who hails from the Emerald Isle. I was born in Limerick you know, so why my Mums go on about me having kissed the Blarney Stone, I don’t quite know..... I like to think my woof has a gentle Gaelic lilt to it, but Mum says given that my formative years were spent in Wolverhampton, my accent is somewhat less romantic. Humph! She is just jealous. 

Anyway, I don’t have time to be arguing as I have my friends to meet. And not just any friends at that. Oh no! Today is the day that Beryl and I get to go on our first proper “in the fur” date! We’re being chaperoned, of course.... Beryl is, after all a Princess. I know we’ll have a lovely time though. 

In fact come with me now, as I'm just about to meet everyone for our St. Pat's day treat! 

Let me introduce our chaperons for the day. Beryl's brother, my good mate Frankie and the lovely Puddles Duddles Rainwater who is the little lady with a big appetite for beer.

Oh yes! I have arranged a trip around the Guinness brewery in Dublin. Cool or what! Obviously there will be an opportunity to get rat arsed take part in some sampling of the goods later on. I have checked and Moet and Chandon is stocked, so my Princess will be well catered for too. 

Beryl is taking this souvenir photo as she is the only one of us that can properly handle a camera - her Mum Sue taught her everything she knows... (Love you, Mum-in-law! Hehe!)

I just knew everything was going too well. The brewery is closed - for the St. Patrick's Day holiday. Just when I was planning  for us all to get s**t faced a lovely cultural experience too.

Good job we've got Puddles. I knew I liked that girl for more than just her obsession with beer. She is full of good ideas.  There is absolutely no point in having a super-hero in your midst unless you are going to use him! Excuse me whilst I find a phone box to twirl around in. Oh no. That's Wonder Woman, isn't it? I'll just put my red Y-fronts on then.....

The brewery doesn't seem too difficult to get into. Perhaps they weren't expecting a flying greyhound dressed as Superman. Bit lax of them if you ask me. The amount people drink around here, they'll be plenty who have seen a stranger site than that!

Right then, this little lot should do for our drunken and debauched party genteel soiree in the park.

 How can Beryl fail to be impressed by this? I know how to show a girl a good time. She looks very attractive in this nice new hat I've bought her. I'm not quite sure why Puddles has green reindeer antlers on.... but that's Puddles for you. 

Well I suppose we should start our St. Pat's picnic. Everyone has a very long way to go to get home. Wonder if Puddles can even pretend that she's interested in the food rather than the beer? Oh fair enough. Crack us a can open kid. Hehe!  Best find Bery's champagne. I don't think she's the sort to slug beer from cans. " Nots like your usuals gurlz huh Dec? Snigger." " Shut up Pudd! I'm trying to make a good impression......."

.....As I said, create a good impression... hic. I loves you Beryl. No no I'm not drunk, I mean it... hic. Oh dear are you mad at me Beryl, love?

Stay with me! hic.

Stay with me!

Just wrap me up in chains

But if you try to go alone

Don't think I'll understand

La La La La Laaaaa..... hic

And so St. Patrick's Day draws to a close in exactly the same way as it does all over the world; lots of drunk people who've made slight fools of themselves and one or two others who are willing to forgive them - just this once. That's right isn't it Beryl?...... Beryl......?!!


Talking of such things, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish my Mums a very happy anniversary. Who'd have thought they'd have lasted 8 weeks never mind 8 years? hehe! Well done Mums. I love you. xx

Bejabers! The Great Day is Nearly Upon Us, So It Is....

                         

I'm so excited.....

And I just can't hide it

I'm about to loose control

And I think I like it....

"He's really not is he....?" - Mum

Yeah well. I'm just being understated. I can't wait for St. Patrick's Day!

PARRTTY!!!

                              

Crisis Averted......

Hello everyone!

Sorry I haven't been around for a few days but I've been really really really really really ill. Has that got your attention? Oh good!

Well maybe not quite THAT ill but I had my mum's worried for a moment there. It all started on Saturday when Mum & I were having a lovely game of Mr Crocodile. It involves me rolling on my back, Mum slapping my chest whilst I try and bite Mum's arms and hands.  Fantastically good fun. Just ask Mum. She has the scars to prove it!

Anyway, I digress. The point is, whilst this was happening, Other Mum noticed quite a big pink lump just in front of my chap john thomas tinkle Oh dear, this is embarrassing, but you know what I mean, don't you? Mum's were a bit worried, but thought they better just keep an eye on it, however by Monday it was much worse. Really bruised looking with two blood blisters either side. 

Now my Mum's aren't really known for their hysterical approach to health issues. For example, the other week, the following conversation could be overheard:

Other Mum: "You know, I've got this really strange pain in my chest and my arm hurts"

Mum: "What? Told you not to eat so fast"

Other Mum: "I haven't eaten. I don't feel like food"

Mum: "Oh. Well if you're going to need taking to hospital, can you wait until this programme finishes? It's all about The Great Barrier Reef. Did I ever tell you about the time I went diving there? It was..........."

Some might say uncaring. We prefer to say unruffled.....

However that's when it's about them, not their Perfect Baby Boy! Safe to say Mum practically had me dead and buried whist Other Mum had to cancel several meetings and come home as she just couldn't concentrate. Still look on the bright side. My actions may have saved the world from one more speed hump!

Eventually my  two nervous wrecks Mums got me to my appointment with the v-e-t and it turned out I'm not dying or anything. Hurrah!  Last July just before I was adopted by Mums I had a  small op. for an umbilical hernia. Apparently even with soluble stitches sometimes the knots remain and this had caused the blistering. Mr Vet thinks I banged my tummy which caused the lump and the stitches to rub against the skin.  That diagnosis took all of 10 minutes. We left 68 quid poorer, but with a pair of much relieved Mums in tow!

So.... now we are back to this again.....

I have a course of antibiotics to take and Mr Vet (who worryingly is called "David"...) says I must not lie on the wound or lick it. Neither must I get it wet or walk in long grass. I must take it easy for a week and only be fed fillet of beef from Marks & Spencer... Okay, he might not have said the last bit...

Mum has been trying to calculate how much  unforeseen expenditure can be associated with me this month, and it's well into treble figures. And that is without taking into account "The Seat Belt Incident". Maybe I'll tell you about that another time......