Sorry I haven't been around for a few days but I've been really really really really really ill. Has that got your attention? Oh good!
Well maybe not quite THAT ill but I had my mum's worried for a moment there. It all started on Saturday when Mum & I were having a lovely game of Mr Crocodile. It involves me rolling on my back, Mum slapping my chest whilst I try and bite Mum's arms and hands. Fantastically good fun. Just ask Mum. She has the scars to prove it!
Anyway, I digress. The point is, whilst this was happening, Other Mum noticed quite a big pink lump just in front of my chap john thomas tinkle Oh dear, this is embarrassing, but you know what I mean, don't you? Mum's were a bit worried, but thought they better just keep an eye on it, however by Monday it was much worse. Really bruised looking with two blood blisters either side.
Now my Mum's aren't really known for their hysterical approach to health issues. For example, the other week, the following conversation could be overheard:
Other Mum: "You know, I've got this really strange pain in my chest and my arm hurts"
Mum: "What? Told you not to eat so fast"
Other Mum: "I haven't eaten. I don't feel like food"
Mum: "Oh. Well if you're going to need taking to hospital, can you wait until this programme finishes? It's all about The Great Barrier Reef. Did I ever tell you about the time I went diving there? It was..........."
Some might say uncaring. We prefer to say unruffled.....
However that's when it's about them, not their Perfect Baby Boy! Safe to say Mum practically had me dead and buried whist Other Mum had to cancel several meetings and come home as she just couldn't concentrate. Still look on the bright side. My actions may have saved the world from one more speed hump!
Eventually my two nervous wrecks Mums got me to my appointment with the v-e-t and it turned out I'm not dying or anything. Hurrah! Last July just before I was adopted by Mums I had a small op. for an umbilical hernia. Apparently even with soluble stitches sometimes the knots remain and this had caused the blistering. Mr Vet thinks I banged my tummy which caused the lump and the stitches to rub against the skin. That diagnosis took all of 10 minutes. We left 68 quid poorer, but with a pair of much relieved Mums in tow!
So.... now we are back to this again.....
I have a course of antibiotics to take and Mr Vet (who worryingly is called "David"...) says I must not lie on the wound or lick it. Neither must I get it wet or walk in long grass. I must take it easy for a week and only be fed fillet of beef from Marks & Spencer... Okay, he might not have said the last bit...
Mum has been trying to calculate how much unforeseen expenditure can be associated with me this month, and it's well into treble figures. And that is without taking into account "The Seat Belt Incident". Maybe I'll tell you about that another time......
